Review
Justice of the Unicorns
Angels with Uzis

Little Lamb (2008) Graham Isador

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Yesterday, I received my bi-monthly batch of promos. While sorting through the records an album named Angels with Uzis by the band Justice of the Unicorns caught my eye. If the image on your right is a bit too small let me take the liberty of describing what's going on with the album's cover. Above a burning skyline is what I can only assume to be a six year olds interpretation of angels, complete with triangle breasts and polka dotted lighting bolt wings. Floating beside their hands are rainbow-colored guns shooting out small red hearts in place of bullets. This unique drawing, an obvious comment on our western society's wanton use of religion as the justification for violence as instilled in and embodied by our children, speaks to the record's theme as a whole. The objective of this truly magnificent protest album is to mobilize herds of apathetic, well dressed, youngsters in order to finally realize the potential of our post-modern society. And who better to champion the movement than indie rockers sounding like a cross between the lethargic and uppity side of an art school dropout after one too many bong hits?

I'll admit I made up the stuff about the revolution. It's just that I seriously have no idea what is going on with this record. The album opens to the sound of an audience's cheerful laughter and a delightful circus-like organ that is rudely interrupted by repeated gunfire and screaming. I mean, really, what the fuck man? The music itself has that cute folk feeling that comes with whiny voices singing endearingly simplistic/juvenile lyrics, but just remains really, really, weird. For example, Angels with Uzis houses such great lines as, "Jesus had a girlfriend / To wash his robes for him / But he got too fat," and has an entire song devoted to chasing a fictional dragon.

While I am aware that, or at least I suppose that, Justice of the Unicorns don't take themselves too seriously, I can't quite kick the feeling of the whole album being a giant inside joke that I don't get. Maybe I'm not high enough. But with the success of the Juno soundtrack it seems that kids these days love this stuff. Go figure.

See also

Indie, Juno, Weird

Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis cover artwork
Justice of the Unicorns – Angels with Uzis — Little Lamb, 2008

Recently-posted album reviews

1186

Histeria
Drunken Sailor (2025)

If you read enough press releases, you start questioning if you even know what genre names mean. Post-punk has been one of the most abused terms of the past 2-3 years and it seems to mean wildly different things to different people. To me, it’s always meant an ear for angular guitars and noise atop more traditional song concepts. 1186 … Read more

Li Jianhong

Shuttle Raven of the Dream
Utech (2025)

Li Jianhong's philosophy surpasses the direct relationship of a musician with their instrument of choice. Instead, Li has advocated for Environment Improvisation, where the urge to create and improvise is established by the artist's surroundings. Looking at Li's website you can find numerous instances that inspired him to settle down and start improvising, drawing energy from the surroundings. The music … Read more

Deseos Primitivos

Lineas de Muerte
Shadowplay Records (2025)

Some reviews are written after years of listening to a band and knowing nearly everything about them. Sometimes I listen to a record on repeat for weeks before I even look up the correct song titles – Deseos Primitivos (Primitive Desires) is the latter. This promo came to SPB as literally a one sentence quote about the band and its … Read more