Review
Tukatukas
Royal Bourbon

D.I.Y. Koło Records (2022) Christopher D

Tukatukas – Royal Bourbon cover artwork
Tukatukas – Royal Bourbon — D.I.Y. Koło Records, 2022

Hailing from Reunion Island surrounded by the Indian Ocean -Tukatukas take an exciting detour on punk/hardcore which brings you up around the bend and slightly left. Tukatukas have caused concern among local inhabitants on this beautiful Island merely for the decibel levels they have been obtaining and the fact there are known volcanos existing among them. The volcano in question is called Piton de la Fournaise and is considered one of the world's most active volcanos. It has even caused alarm and strife amongst these same concerned citizens that it may awake long dormant volcanos.

Some may ask can horns and punk rock mix. I would cite one of my favourite Punk Rock records ever- The Saints-Eternally Yours. Say no more.
Yes folks Tukatukas are horny. Do they sound like The Saints? No
They come on like a later-period Dead Kennedys -think Frankenchrist with horns and not the Heavy Metal Dio Horns up type. Vocals even sound like our favourite animal-extracted protein-forming gelatin. Yes, you got that right. You win the prize. Hey, kids get out of my JELLO tree! Perhaps gingerly spiced with a little Mano Negra added to the dusty steel boot up your flabby spin cycle failure and early to mid-period “All I wanted was a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me”. Oh, Mike!

Bouncing and jiggling around as a cube of jello served at some self-serve buffet style with a liquid oil in water emulsion topping otherwise known as fake whip cream. Get the real stuff kids and keep the fake exploding canister brands for the bedroom. Oh right back to the Jello bouncing and jiggling. Tukatukas are like a cube of lime-extracted simulated Jello that bounces around like a tiny dot helping you decipher lyrics in a Karaoke bar but the only difference is that Tukatukas obliterate that cube of gelatin-crushed animal bones within the first half minute. I could compare it to that ride that seems to be all the rage-The Slingshot. Sitting there anticipating your brain to be catapulted into the front of your skull and your eyeballs popping out and dangling from your extraocular muscles that sway back and forth like a bull's giant testicles about to be castrated. Which in fact is actually done in part to curb aggressiveness. So enjoy this platter du jour from a population of 859,959. Nice to know that punk/hardcore exists in all corners of the world.

Rating 8 cubes of Jello out of /10

Tukatukas – Royal Bourbon cover artwork
Tukatukas – Royal Bourbon — D.I.Y. Koło Records, 2022

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