Review
Urgent Care
Fast Medicine

Healthcore Records (2023) Christopher D

Urgent Care – Fast Medicine cover artwork
Urgent Care – Fast Medicine — Healthcore Records, 2023

Doctor, Doctor give me the news….

Some of you might pretend you don’t have a winking brown starfish on the bottom of your nether region but Urgent Care is here to tell you that Colonoscopies can save your life. Get your pack of Pico-Salax and let the chocolate fountain bubble and flow. The colonoscope is a thin catheter with a camera attached to the end of it. Much like the movie The Fantastic Voyage, these explorers will navigate around billowing bulbous hemorrhoids like speed bumps in quiet sleepy fenced middle-class America. Now, if you are lucky, they can also do an endoscopy while you are out cold on the table. Rest assured they will not use the catheter on your gullet that was previously up your Hershey highway…. mind you if they reverse that it might explain why people exclaim... Whoa man, your breath smells like shit!.

So don the vinyl gloves and get ready to explore and leave those latex gloves on the operating floor ( you might not be aware that people with latex allergies might also have allergic reactions to certain foods like Kiwi, Bananas and Avocado this is due to some of the proteins in latex are also present in these fruits).

Urgent Care has emerged from the medical waste disposal site like medical student Toxic Avengers. Aurally (say Ahhhhhh!) resonating like output from the well-loved Rip Off Records. The Mummies emerging from beneath the Pyramids to tag team, poke in the eye cage match with the often feared- The Angry Samoans.Fast blasts of soap sud enemas blasting all over blue medical pads like a brown Tsunami. Believe in Science. Believe in Urgent Care.

Urgent Care – Fast Medicine cover artwork
Urgent Care – Fast Medicine — Healthcore Records, 2023

Recently-posted album reviews

Deseos Primitivos

Lineas de Muerte
Shadowplay Records (2025)

Some reviews are written after years of listening to a band and knowing nearly everything about them. Sometimes I listen to a record on repeat for weeks before I even look up the correct song titles – Deseos Primitivos (Primitive Desires) is the latter. This promo came to SPB as literally a one sentence quote about the band and its … Read more

The Men

Buyer Beware
Fuzz Club Records (2025)

I wanna say the first time I heard Brooklyn NY’s The Men was back in 2010, ironically around the time I moved back to Vancouver, Canada from Brooklyn. I don’t recall having seen or heard of them when I lived there but that is not surprising. One of the reasons I moved back was that I wasn't going out much. … Read more

Detention

Dead Rock ‘N’ Rollers
Left For Dead Records (2024)

Life ain’t so easy in the detention home- Dead Boys. Emerging from the underbelly of Jersey, made up primarily of three brethren. Raised on rock and roll and sipping from the chalice of early punk rock stalwarts like Da Bruddahs from Queens, Hey Ho! and the Pistoleros of Sexual Nature screaming banshees from across from the large pond. Thus forging … Read more