Feature / Music
Scene Point Blank's Favorites: The Year So Far (August 2006)

Posted pre-2010

Top 5 Worst Things About 2006

by Giles

5. Panic! At the Disco's problems with grammar

See, this is what happens when you spend your final year of high school dicking around with a synthesizer instead of paying attention in English class. You end up sticking an exclamation mark in the middle of your name because you think it looks cool. And you reference Pahlaniuk because he's wayyy edgy. And you forget necessary commas in your song titles because, presumably, you're a fucking moron.

4. Panic! At the Disco's music videos

When I'm enjoying the MuchMusic countdown, the last thing I want is to be interrupted by a clown wedding. Somehow, P!ATD's videos manage to be as obnoxiously retarded as the songs themselves. That's saying something. And that one part where the whorish bride makes out with a clown and gets makeup all over her face? That's gross, man. It's gross.

3. Panic! At the Disco's lead singer

This kid is probably responsible for everything else on this list. So we can practically deduce that he's an ignorant, pretentious, untalented jerk who's at the helm of an "emo" revolution. Not unlike Hitler. Just look at him, with his perfect hair, and his smirk that says, "I'm younger than you, I'm rich as hell, and I'm getting away with this." Seriously, there is no god.

2. Panic! At the Disco's popularity

I do my best to never judge someone based on the bands they like. Before this year, this seemed like a pretty good policy. But no-one could possibly be expected to maintain any level of respect a P!ATD fan. Are these kids high? Is fake sexuality that appealing? Does this band's nonsense lyricism sound good if you're fifteen? The answer to all of these questions is "apparently". Worst of all, these impressionable young cokeheads are going to rule the earth someday. That's a genuine, keep-you-up-at-night problem.

1. Panic! At the Disco's music

No, I didn't forget. As of right now, I have listened to 12 of the 13 tracks on this album. And in order for the entire mess to be redeemed, "Intermission" had better be one hell of a song. If you haven't heard the band, you can sort of imagine what they sound like. Pete Wentz worship from Las Vegas. But with even less sincerity. And with even more bullshit sloganeering. Typically, each track consists of a foundation of bad pop-punk, with a layer of bad new-wave production, topped off with wordy, repetitive lyrics. The best example of this is actually the band's first single, in which the chorus of "I'd chime in with a 'Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?' No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality..." basically makes up the entire three minute song. Yeah. I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure that's terrible.

— words by the SPB team

Related features

Jumalvauhti

One Question Interviews • March 27, 2025

Kalle (Jumalvauhti – bass) SPB: Who is your favorite band/artist from the 2000-2010 era? Kalle: It's hard to say, but Destiny's Child definitely can't go wrong.  Read more

Bronson Arm

One Question Interviews • March 26, 2025

Black Bickel (Bronson Arm) SPB: What is your favorite stretch of highway to drive in the US? Bickel: My favorite stretch of highway is that bit between Milwaukee and Minneapolis, two cities that Bronson Arm always have a great time playing. So if we are leaving Milwaukee, we are usually … Read more

Unstable Shapes

One Question Interviews • March 25, 2025

Kevin Hurley (Unstable Shapes – bass) SPB: What is your favorite Fugazi record? Hurley: While we can debate the best Fugazi record, a personal favorite of mine is The Argument. It was my entry point for the band. I was admittedly way late to the party on them and as … Read more

Retirement

Bike Shop

Interviews / Don't Quit Your Day Job • March 23, 2025

How an artist spends their time by day will influence the creative process at night. In Don’t Quit Your Day Job, Scene Point Blank looks at how musicians split their time, and how their careers influence their music (or how their music provides escape). In this edition, we chat with … Read more

Let Me Downs

One Question Interviews • March 12, 2025

Paul Levesque (Let Me Downs - bass/vocals) SPB: Has the band ever been in a car/van accident while touring? Levesque: Fortunately, we haven’t! (Knock on wood) We have had our fair share of van issues. Blown tires, A/C going out in an hours-long traffic jam in the Arizona desert in … Read more

Advertisement

DCxPC 2025

More from this section

2024: A Year In Review

Music / Year End 2024 • January 13, 2025

It's a new year – hooray. And things are off to a fine start, too. If the thought of corrupt governments, AI domination, unmoderated social networks and endless war is causing you to retreat into the past, we don't blame you. In fact, we encourage it! Our writers have summed … Read more

Scene Point Blank's Favorites: Year End (2024)

Music / Year End 2024 • January 4, 2025

It's 2025, somehow. When did this happen?! Okay, okay, four days ago. But honestly. It feels like 2012 was only a few months ago. Is it just SPB who's feeling a little, well, timestruck? But don't worry – we've got you. Did 2024 pass you by, too? Still not caught … Read more

Pass The Mic: Artists and labels on 2024

Music / Year End 2024 • January 4, 2025

It's a SPB tradition to formally "pass the mic" to our artist and label friends to tell us about their year in music. What albums did they enjoy? What shows did they see? What are they looking forward to for the new year? We're joined this year by a host … Read more